STOP MAKING MARRIAGE DIFFICULT

One of the many issues that we face in our current times is the issue of marriage especially you know being a young guy or a young girl trying to get married it’s almost become a mission impossible and I really wanted to speak out in specific to my brothers and my father’s in regards to our daughters and our sisters.

My brothers we have a serious responsibility when it comes to our sisters. you know it’s not just to feed them and to shelter them and to look out for them but rather we have a responsibility to play an active role in getting them married.

I mean our daughters and our sisters are not pieces of furniture that sit at home, you know our sisters are now 20, 25, 30 years old still at home unmarried because you and I are not playing an active role in making the marriage easy for them. I’m not speaking about the sister that wants to remain single but how many of our sisters want to get married, they actually desire to be with someone and we’ve become an obstacle.

Wallahi My brothers and I’m being very honest and blunt. Our women feel unappreciated and they most certainly feel unloved. When was the last time you as a father, when was the last time you sat down with your daughter and smiled at her and told her how beautiful she is, how pretty her smile is, when was the last time you took her out to a cafe and made her feel involved in her life. When was the last time you reassured your daughter that when she grows up you’re gonna find her the best husband in the world.

At 20, 30 you’re not speaking about marriage, she’s obviously not married and no one’s knocking on the door and no one is saying anything, it’s like the elephant in the room that no one wants to talk about, everyone can see it but God forbid anyone should talk about it so my brother’s and my father’s we need to play a more active role, we need to show love and compassion towards our daughters.

You need to show them that love, you need to smile at them, you need to reassure them every now and then that ”hey I haven’t forgotten about you”

The other issue is that when someone does come to ask for your daughter’s hand don’t make it mission impossible. My brothers and sisters you know we need to stop living in la-la land, we really need to take our heads out of the sand and understand the environment that we’re living in.

Zina has become so easy and abundant, it is so easy to fornicate nowadays and marriage has become near impossible and again it’s against the Sunnah of our beloved Prophet Muhammad (saw), we claim that it’s Deen, Deen, Deen but it’s the furthest from it.

Look at the advice of our Beloved Prophet Muhammad (saw): He says ”if a man comes to you and he has religion coupled with manners then marry your daughters to him” why did the prophet of Allah say religion coupled with manners? because the fruits of religion is manners so when someone comes to you who’s god-fearing, he prays, he fasts, he does what Allah asks him, coupled with manners and he has Adhab & Akhlaq, he is polite, he is patient, he is forgiving, he is loving marry your daughter’s to this person and don’t make it difficult and if you do then you open a door a Fitnah.

How many times have I seen young brothers who are beautiful, you know very good brothers that have a lot of potential and possess all of these qualities but because he doesn’t drive a brand new car, because he doesn’t own a house, because he doesn’t have a business that’s making thousands of dollars a week, he’s rejected and this causes Fitnah.

Please I’m urging every brother and every father and mother to start playing a more active role when it comes to your these things, lets start making marriage easy. I hope I have inspired or I have instigated at least this wanting to do good and to spreading Khair.

CAN A MUSLIM WOMAN LOOK FOR HER LIFE PARTNER HERSELF?

Praise be to Allah.

Firstly:

The Muslim woman must know that she is obliged to wear hijaab and observe proper Islamic hijaab at all times. It is not permissible for a woman to make a wanton display of herself (tabarruj). Tabarruj is a major sin for which the one who does it deserves the wrath and punishment of Allah.  A woman, as the saying goes, is a jewel, and when she is shown to people and makes a wanton display of herself she loses her value.

So I advise every Muslim woman to adhere to proper Islamic hijaab, which is pleasing to Allah and is an act of obedience to Him, and is a means of Allah guiding His slave and making things easier for him.

Secondly:

With regard to marriage, it may be obligatory if a man or woman longs for marriage and fears falling into immoral ways. It is also the Sunnah of the Prophets (peace be upon them).

Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And indeed We sent Messengers before you (O Muhammad), and made for them wives and offspring”

[al-Ra’d 13:38]

Muslim Woman
Muslim Woman


Thirdly:

There is a difference between a Muslim woman looking for a husband and her mixing with and talking to men for that purpose, and meeting by accident a man who she thinks is a potential husband. The former is contrary to modesty, for a woman is required to be of modest character and shy, which is an adornment and beauty for women; the virgin is the epitome of modesty as it says in the hadeeth of Abu Sa’eed al-Khudri (may Allah be pleased with him): “The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) used to be more shy than the virgin in her seclusion, and if he disliked something it would be known from his face.”

Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5751; Muslim, 2320

Muslim Woman :

A woman can do something better than that, which is to make du’aa’ asking Allah to give her a good and righteous husband. Du’aa’ is one of the best things with which a Muslim may equip himself and the best way in which a Muslim may seek to meet his needs. She can also speak to some of her Muslim sisters whose religious commitment and honesty she trusts to tell her of someone who can tell a young Muslim man who wants to get married about a Muslim girl. This is better than her doing something that is contrary to modesty.

Fourthly:

Undoubtedly the one who told you to take off the hijab and that that is better than wearing it is wrong. How can a woman give up her religious commitment and hijab and ignore something that Allah has enjoined upon her and said that if she forsakes it then she will deserve the wrath and punishment of Allah and will not be granted His support?

The Muslim woman must adhere to this virtue which many Muslim women have forsaken, for it is the symbol of the Muslim woman, a sign of her commitment, sincere faith and piety.

I advise every Muslim women to fear Allah and to adhere to hijab, and Allah will help her and make her life easier for her. And Allah is the One Whose help we seek.

And Allah knows best.

(Source – Islam Q&A)

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