LOVE MARRIAGE OR ARRANGED MARRIAGE – WHAT IS BETTER ACCORDING TO ISLAM?

LOVE MARRIAGE OR ARRANGED MARRIAGE 

Praise be to Allah.
The issue of this (love marriage or arranged marriage) depends on the ruling on what came before it. If the love between the two parties did not transgress the limits set by Allah or make them commit sin, then there is the hope that the marriage which results from this love will be more stable, because it came about as the result of the fact that each of them wanted to marry the other.

If a man feels some attraction towards a woman whom it is permissible for him to marry her, and vice versa, there is no answer to the problem except marriage. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “We do not think that there is anything better for those who love one another than marriage.” (Narrated by Ibn Maajah, 1847; classed as saheeh by al-Busayri and by Shaykh al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah, 624)

Al-Sindi said, as noted in Haamish Sunan Ibn Maajah :

The phrase “We do not think that there is anything better for those who love one another than marriage” may be understood to refer to two or to more than two. What this means is that if there is love between two people, that love cannot be increased or made to last longer by anything like marriage.  If there is marriage as well as that love, that love will increase and grow stronger every day.”

love marriage
Love Marriage or Arranged Marriage

But if that marriage comes about as a result of an illicit love relationship, such as when they meet and are alone together and kiss one another, and other haraam actions, then it will never be stable, because they committed actions that go against sharee’ah and because they have built their lives on things that will have the effect of reducing blessings and support from Allah, for sin is a major factor in reducing blessings, even though some people think, because of the Shaytaan’s whispers, that falling in love and doing haraam deeds makes marriage stronger.

Moreover, these illicit relationships that take place before marriage will be a cause to make each party doubtful about the other.

The husband will think that his wife may possibly have a similar relationship with someone else, and even if he thinks it unlikely, he will still be troubled by the fact that his wife did do something wrong with him.

And the same thoughts may occur to the wife too, and she will think that her husband could possibly have an affair with another woman, and even if she thinks it unlikely, she will still be troubled by the fact that her husband did something wrong with her.

So each partner will live in a state of doubt and suspicion, which will ruin their relationship sooner or later.

The husband may condemn his wife for having agreed to have a relationship with him before marriage, which will be upsetting for her, and this will cause their relationship to deteriorate.

love marriage

Hence we think that if a marriage is based upon an illicit premarital relationship, it will most likely be unstable and will not be successful.

With regard to arranged marriages where the family chooses the partner, they are not all good and not all bad. If the family makes a good choice and the woman is religious and beautiful, and the husband likes her and wants to marry her, then there is the hope that their marriage will be stable and successful. Hence the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) urged the one who wants to get married to look at the woman.

It was narrated from al-Mugheerah ibn Shu’bah that he proposed marriage to a woman, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, “Go and look at her, because that is more likely to create love between you.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1087; classed as hasan by al-Nasaa’i, 3235)

But if the family make a bad choice, or they make a good choice but the husband does not agree with it, then this marriage is most likely doomed to failure and instability, because the marriage that is based on lack of interest usually is not stable.

And Allah knows best.

(Source Islam Q&A)

WHAT DOES ISLAM SAY ABOUT “LOVE BEFORE MARRIAGE”

“LOVE BEFORE MARRIAGE” IN ISLAM (Love Marriage)

Marriage is a very special and sacred bond created by Allah subhana-wa-ta’ala between a man and a woman.
Marriage makes them permissible for one another and lives a life of beauty. Allah azzawajal has described in glorious Quran this relationship in most beautiful terms and has mentioned that this bond is filled with love, mercy, compassion, security, and understanding. (love marriage)

“And among His signs is this that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your hearts: Verily in that are signs for those who reflect. (Quran 30:21)

Thus a marriage is a blessing and a source of mercy and comfort for a man. It is also a very important Sunnah of our beloved Prophet Muhammad (saw)

love marriage
Love Marriage

Love Marriage :

 The Messenger of Allah (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) said:

“The Nikah is my Sunnah (way), whosoever leaves my Sunnah is not from amongst me” (Kitabus Sunan – Mishkat)

In another narration he has narrated: 

“Young men, those of you who can support a wife should marry, for it keeps you from looking at non-permissible females and protects you from immorality. However, those who cannot devote themselves to fasting, for it is a means of suppressing sexual desire.” (Bukhari and Muslim)

In Islam, a marriage is valid if both bride and groom have accepted the bond and by the permission of the parents of both of them. 

Islam does not blame a person’s feeling. One can have a feeling of love for known or unknown reason and he/she is not accountable for what he feels. The emotion of love that one feels is not the subject of questioning on the day of Judgement. But the actions that follow that emotion are accountable.

If the actions lead to evil, it is forbidden. If it doesn’t then it is acceptable. If it prompts you to see that person in seclusion, talk to them for hours, hide that from your parents than it is forbidden, my brothers and sisters. 

love marriage

Some Hadith and Quranic verses that support this:

“….then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery) should be moved with desire” (Quran – Surah Al-Ahzaab : 32)

“Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him not be alone with a woman who has no mahram present, for the third one present will be the Shaytaan.” (Ahmad – saheeh by al-Albaani)

“And come not near to unlawful sex. Verily, it is a Faahishah (i.e. anything that transgresses its limits: a great sin, and an evil way that leads one to hell unless Allah Forgives him)” (Quran – Al-Isra’ : 32)

“If one of you were to be stabbed in the head with an iron needle, that would be better for him than his touching a woman who is not permissible for him.” (Al-Tabaraani –saheeh by al-Albaani)

Marriages that are done due to people falling in love are acceptable as long as they do not cross the limits set by Allah azawajal (love marriage).

If a person happens to love someone he/she should approach the other lawfully and get married immediately (love marriage). For marriage will protect them from evil sexual desires and indeed from hellfire.

“And of His signs is that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you might reside with them, and has put love and mercy between you. Surely, there are signs in this for those who think. (Quran – Al-Room : 21)

If a child asks his/her parent to get him/her married than they must do so immediately. Excuses like caste, race, color, society, financial status etc. are not accepted. The only things that matter are the deen of Allah and a good character. If you deny your child the right to marriage with the person of their choice on the grounds of financial status or caste than you are accountable for your action. May Allah protect us all.

Abu Hurairah narrates that the Messenger of Allah (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) said :

“when one with whose religion and character you are satisfied asks your daughter in marriage then accede to his request. If you do not do so then there will be a temptation in the earth and extensive corruption”. (Tirmidhi)

love marriage

In Islam, it is not a sin to feel a specific way or feeling of affection for a certain individual since a human being has no control over such things. However, he is definitely responsible for the actions that follow. He will be accountable if he got carried away by this feeling. That is where a man has to restrain himself and protect himself from harm.

Islam does not allow the illicit relationship between a man and a woman. Allah has established the bond of marriage between a man and a woman so that both of them enjoy each other’s company in a legitimate way and bot may attain Allah’s mercy and blessing. There is no blessing in an illicit affair.

Islam forbids all forms of ‘dating’ and isolating oneself with a member of the opposite sex, as well indiscriminate mingling and mixing.

Correspondence between sexes leads to fitnah. If, however, one does none of the above, and all that he or she wants is to seriously consider marrying someone, such a thing itself is not considered haram.

In fact, Islam encourages us to marry persons for whom we have special feelings and affinity. Thus, Islam recommends that potential marriage partners see one another before proposing marriage. Which in no sense means that we are allowed to “date”.

Love Marriage :

The permissible ways to get the one whom you loves are sufficient i.e

Contact the wali or the guardian of the person whom you desire to marry, there is no need for haraam means (love marriage), but we make it hard for ourselves and the Shaytaan takes advantage of that.

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

A person may hear that a woman is of good character and virtuous and knowledgeable so he may want to marry her. Or a woman may hear that a man is of good character and virtuous and knowledgeable and religiously committed, so she may want to marry him.

love marriage

But contact between the two who admire one another in ways that are not Islamically acceptable is the problem, which leads to disastrous consequences (love marriage). In this case, it is not permissible for the man to get in touch with the woman or for the woman to get in touch with the man and say that he wants to marry her.

Rather he should tell her wali (guardian) that he wants to marry her, or she should tell her wali that she wants to marry him, as ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) did when he offered his daughter Hafsah in marriage to Abu Bakr and ‘Uthmaan (may Allaah be pleased with them both). But if the woman contacts the man directly or if the man contacts woman directly, this is may lead to fitnah (temptation).


PUNISHMENT FOR ZINA

Discipline for Zina (Unlawful Sexual Intercourse)

In this life
Sex (fornication) is 100 lashes

“The male and female who submit sex (zina fornication) – flagellate every one of them with one hundred lashes, and let not sympathy for both of them shield you from following Allah’s religion, on the off chance that you put stock in Allah and the Last Day. Furthermore, let a gathering of devotees witness their discipline (punishment).” [Noble Quran 24:2]

Infidelity (adultery) is demise (death)

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon hin) stated: “It isn’t allowed to shed the blood of any Muslim… With the exception of in three cases: a spirit for a spirit, the wedded individual who submits infidelity (adultery), and the person who spurns his religion…” [Bukhari and Muslim]

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) stated:

“When somebody submits Zina or beverages (drinks) wine, Allah expels his confidence (faith) from him, similarly as an individual takes his shirt off over his head”

zina
Punishment for Zina

In the Hereafter

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) stated:

“On the Day of Resurrection, Allah won’t address nor take a gander at nor cleanse three kinds of individuals:- an elderly person who submits Zina, a lying lord (king) and a vainglorious poor person.”

The Prophet (peace be upon him) stated:

“We went on and touched base almost a pit which resembled and stove, out of which we could hear cries. We looked into it and exposed (naked) people (men and women), who shouted out when the flares contacted them from beneath. I asked: ‘Who are these, O Gabriel?’ He answered, ‘Guys and females who have submitted sex (fornication).'” [Bukhari]

The Prophet (harmony arrive) stated:

zina

“The man who has laid his hand with desire on a lady who isn’t passable (permissible) to him will come on the Day of Judgment with his hand fixing to his neck. In the event that he kissed her, his lips will be cut in the Fire, and on the off chance that he had sex (intercourse) with her, his reproductive organs (private parts) will talk against him in the Day of Judgment saying: ‘I did what was illegal.’ Allah Most High will take a gander at him with indignation, and the substance all over will list and he will look run down and old. He will state: ‘What did I do?’

His tongue will observer against him saying, ‘I said what was illegal
(forbidden)’; his hands will talk and say, ‘We went after what was taboo
(forbidden)’; every one of his feet will state. ‘I went to a prohibited place.’; and his genitals (private parts)  will state, ‘I did it.’
A one of the guardian angels will state, ‘I heard it.’ and the other gatekeeper angels will state, ‘I composed (wrote) it,’ and Allah Most High will state, ‘I knew it yet I disguised (concealed) it.’ Then He will state ‘My heavenly attendants, take him and give him! an essence of My discipline (punishment). Extraordinary is My resentment against the man who had so little disgrace towards Me!'”

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) stated:

“In the event that somebody submits Zina with a wedded ladies, in the grave there will be a discipline (punishment) on him and on her equivalent to a large portion of the discipline (punishment) of this Ummah…”

Watch This Video!!! Zina and its Punishment

May Allah ensure (protect) all of us. Aameen

SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE AND ITS CONSEQUENCES

SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE | ISLAM | CONSEQUENCES

In the name of Allah, most compassionate and most merciful.

SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE AND ITS CONSEQUENCES :-
“From among the signs of the Hour (end of time) are that religious knowledge will be taken away (by the death of religious scholars), ignorance will prevail, drinking of alcoholic drinks, and there will be a prevalence of Zina.” – Prophet (saw) We begin our topic with these words of our beloved Prophet.

Sex before Marriage
Sex before Marriage

How true were his words? We live in a world where all these things are prevalent and unfortunately in our Muslim community as well. Many of our Muslim brothers and sisters are trapped in the evil of Zina and it has become a norm for them, as a result they don’t even consider it haram and unlawful.

Allah says in holy Quran: Sūrah al-Isrā’, 17:32:
“And do not even approach zina, for it is an outrageous act, and an evil way…’’

We are not going into detail about why Zina is unlawful but in this article, you will find the consequences of this sin. How this affects a life of a person physically, mentally, spiritually and socially.

Imaam Ibn Al-Qayyim said,
“Fornication and adultery combine all evils; weakness in commitment to the religion, lack of piety, corruption of manhood and the decrease of praiseworthy jealousy. You will never find an adulterer or fornicator who is pious, fulfills his promises, is truthful in his speech, maintains a friendship or has jealousy over his wife; he will be characterized by lies, deception, betrayal, accepting prohibitions and not being mindful of Allah.”

All these characteristics are consequences of fornication and adultery.

1. Incurring the wrath of Allah The Almighty.

Naturally, Allah has ordered us in holy Quran to stay away from it and one who doesn’t will be punished.

2. Poverty and gloominess of the face, which will be apparent topeople. 

A fornicator will have no Noor on his face. He will face hardships in this life and hereafter if he doesn’t repent. He will be in constant anxiety and his gloominess and sadness will be apparent from his face.

3. Becoming Insignificant.

Sex before Marriage
Sex before Marriage

A person becomes insignificant in the eyes of Allah and in the eyes of people as well. Allah will degrade his situation to worse. It can lead to murder.

Yes, illegal and illicit relations often lead to unwanted pregnancies and therefore abortions. An abortion is a crime and a sin. It is a murder of a soul that has no fault in the sins of a person.

4. Divorce rates are increased.

When a person is in the deep sin of Zina, he/she doesn’t derive pleasure in Halaal relation with his spouse and hence the rates of divorce are increased.

5. It steals Barakah from your earnings.

With Zina, a person spends on unlawful things and contributes to facilitating the activities of Zina. As such the blessings of Allah are removed from his earnings.

6. Worldly Punishment according to shariah.

Sex before marriage is Zina
Sex before marriage, STOP!

Allah The Almighty commanded His Messenger sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam ( may Allah exalt his mention ) to take a pledge from women who entered Islam to refrain from fornication and adultery. Allah The Almighty Says (what means): {“O Prophet! When believing women come to you to give you the Bai`ah (pledge), that they will not associate anything in worship with Allah, that they will not steal, that they will not commit illegal sexual intercourse, that they will not kill their children… then accept their pledge.”} [Quran, 60: 12]

Allah The Almighty made the punishment for these sins vary from lashing to stoning to death, along with the humiliation which results from informing the community of the perpetrators of this sin. Allah The Almighty Says (what means): {“The fornicatress and the fornicator, flog each of them with a hundred stripes. Let not pity withhold you in their case, in a punishment prescribed by Allah, if you believe in Allah and the Last Day.

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And let a party of the believers witness their punishment. [This is for unmarried persons, but if married, the punishment is to stone them to death].”} [Quran, 24: 2]

The Prophet sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam ( may Allah exalt his mention) set the penalty for adultery and fornication as follows: “If the parties (committing fornication) are unmarried, they should receive a hundred lashes and be put into exile for a year. If they commit adultery after they are married, they should receive a hundred lashes and then be stoned to death.” [Muslim]

7. Punishment of Grave.

Those who commit Zina are severely punished in their grave as well. In a very long hadith, Allah’s Messenger relates a dream in which he saw how a number of sinners are being punished in the intermediate life of al-Barzakh (life in the grave). Samurah bin Jundub reported that one morning Allah’s Messenger said: “Last night two men came to me (in a dream) and said, “Come with us.”

Sex before marriage leads to Hell Fire.
Sex before marriage leads to Hell Fire.

I went with them to a sacred land … We proceeded until we came upon a hole in the ground that resembled a baking pit, narrow at the top and wide at the bottom. Babbling and voices were issuing from it. We looked in and saw naked men and women. Ünderneath the pit was a raging fire; whenever it flared up, they screamed and rose with it until they almost fell out of the pit.

As it subsided, they returned (to the bottom). I said, “Who are these?” They said, “Come along!” … I said, “Since the beginning of this night, you have taken me to different places, and I have seen amazing things! What is all this that I saw?” They said, “We will now tell you … As for the naked men and women who were in the pit, they are men and women who indulge in zina … And I am Jibreel, and this is Meka’eel…”

May Allah Protect us.

MARRIAGE AFTER HARAM RELATION WITH NO ZINA (SEXUAL INTERCOURSE)

ZINA

HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ALLAH TO BLESS YOUR  MARRIAGE 

WHEN YOUR WEDDING IS FULL OF  DISOBEDIENCE TO HIM?  

All Praise be to Allah, the lord of the Heavens and Earth.

 Firstly: 

Any form of relationship between man and a woman, which is called and the unlawful and illicit relation is Haraam. It doesn’t matter if it goes as far as being intimate (Zina) which is indeed most hated, reprehensible and abhorrent type of a sin. It poses a great danger to individuals religious commitment and faith, or it is less than that, such as looking, touching or kissing. All of that is haraam and these are types of Zina in the general sense and are things that lead to the greater immoral action.

 Secondly: 

If the marriage takes place after a haraam relationship between a man and woman, then one of the following scenarios must apply:

 1. Either that marriage comes after an illegitimate sexual relationship, in which case the marriage is not valid except on the condition that both the man and woman repent from Zina and it be established that the woman is not pregnant as a result of the haraam relationship, because Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“The adulterer/fornicator marries not but an adulteress/fornicatress or a Mushrikah; and the adulteress/fornicatress, none marries her except an adulterer/fornication or a Mushrik [and that means that the man who agrees to marry (have a sexual relation with) a Mushrikah (female polytheist, pagan or idolatress) or a prostitute, then surely, he is either an adulterer/fornicator, or a Mushrik (polytheist, pagan or idolater). And the woman who agrees to marry (have a sexual relation with) a Mushrik (polytheist, pagan or idolater) or an adulterer/fornicator, then she is either a prostitute or a Mushrikah (female polytheist, pagan, or idolatress)]. Such a thing is forbidden to the believers (of Islâmic Monotheism)” [al-Noor 24:3].

2. That marriage comes from a haraam relationship, but the relationship did not go as far as Zina, such as kissing, touching and other haraam actions that are less serious than Zina. In this case, the marriage is valid because it cannot be said of those who fell into this haraam relationship that they committed Zina. 

And Allah knows best.

WHAT DOES ISLAM SAY ABOUT HOMOSEXUALITY AND LESBIANISM?

Homosexuality: “This sin, the impact of which makes one’s skin crawl, which words cannot describe, is evidence of perverted instincts, total collapse of shame and honor, and extreme filthiness of character and soul… The heavens, the Earth, and the mountains tremble from the impact of this sin. The angels shudder as they anticipate the punishment of Allah to descend upon the people who commit this indescribable sin.”

 Dr. Abdul Aziz Al-Fawzan, The Evil Sin of Homosexuality

Islam doesn’t merely disapprove homosexuality, it terms it as a vile and evil sin that is considered worse than fornication and adultery and is punishable by stoning to death.

The homosexual person goes against the natural fitrah (disposition) which Allah has created for mankind and Allah has warned against falling into such evil sins. The homosexuality causes various diseases that no one can deny. It causes families to break up and may lead a person to leave his work and family because he is occupied with such perversions. A person is left with no shame and honor.  Allah has forbidden it and any sane, reasonable and modest person would not question on the prohibition of this immorality. As a Muslim, we must believe that whatever Allah has forbidden is indeed harmful to mankind and vice-versa.

Ibn al-Qayyim said: 

Both of them – fornication and homosexuality – involve immorality that goes against the wisdom of Allaah’s creation and commandment. For homosexuality involves innumerable evil and harms, and the one to whom it is done would be better off being killed than having this done to him, because after that he will become so evil and so corrupt that there can be no hope of his being reformed, and all good is lost for him, and he will no longer feel any shame before Allaah or before His creation. The semen of the one who did that to him will act as a poison on his body and soul. The scholars differed as to whether the one to whom it is done will ever enter Paradise. There are two opinions which I heard Shaykh al-Islam (may Allaah have mercy on him) narrate.”

(Al-Jawaab al-Kaafi, p. 115).

Quranic evidence:

“…For ye practice your lusts on men in preference to women: ye are indeed a people transgressing beyond bounds…. And we rained down on them a shower (of brimstone)” –Quran (7:80-84)

From this verse, we can conclude that the man who prefers a man over women are indeed transgressors and liable to punishment and their punishment is death by stoning as what happened to the people of Lot. It is an interpretation of the majority of Muslim scholars that the “raining of stones” means the destruction of such people by stoning. (Inexplicably, the story is also repeated in three other suras: 15:74, 27:58 and 29:40).

“Will ye commit abomination such as no creature ever did before you?”  Quran (7:18)

This verse clearly establishes that homosexuality as a different form and much worse than the adultery and fornication. According to Arabic grammar, it is called as worst sin whereas other forms of Zina are considered as great sins. From here we can conclude that it is indeed a great evil.

Other Quranic evidence:

“Verily, you practice your lusts on men instead of women. Nay, but you are a people transgressing beyond bounds (by committing great sins)’” (al-A’raaf 7:80-81)

“Verily, We sent against them a violent storm of stones (which destroyed them all), except the family of Loot (Lot), them We saved in the last hour of the night” (al-Qamar 54:34)

“And (remember) Loot (Lot), when he said to his people: ‘you commit Al‑Faahishah (sodomy the worst sin) which none has preceded you in (committing) it in the ‘Aalameen (mankind and jinn)’” (al-‘Ankaboot 29:28)

Allah mentions in glorious Quran that none of the mankind or Jinn’s had committed such worst sins before the people of Lut (AS) and this was the reason for their destruction. It is a clear warning of Allah aza-wa-jal to mankind to stay away from it.

 “And (remember) Loot (Lot), We gave him Hukm (right judgment of the affairs and Prophethood) and (religious) knowledge, and We saved him from the town (folk) who practiced Al‑Khabaa’ith (evil, wicked and filthy deeds). Verily, they were a people given to evil and were Faasiqoon (rebellious, disobedient to Allaah)” (al-Anbiya’ 21:74)

The deed of homosexuality is termed as a vile, evil and filthy deed by Allah aza-wa-jal. This is the immorality which has no place in Islamic society.

Evidence from Hadith and Sira:

It was narrated that Jaabir (may Allaah be pleased with him): “The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘There is nothing I fear for my ummah more than the deed of the people of Loot.’” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1457; Ibn Maajah, 2563.)

It was narrated that Ibn ‘Abbaas said: “The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “… cursed is the one who has intercourse with an animal, cursed is the one who does the action of the people of Loot.” (Narrated by Ahmad, 1878.)

It was narrated that Ibn ‘Abbaas said: “The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘Whoever you find doing the deed of the people of Loot, kill the one who does it and the one to whom it is done.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1456.)

{This Hadith : Kill the one who does it……   is for Muslim ruler, not for Common Muslims.}

In most of the Islamic countries where shariah law is strictly applied, homosexuals are beheaded,  killed by stoning or throwing from rooftops.

We as a Muslim should never support such LGBT or homosexual groups and should never think leniently about them. They don’t deserve sympathy and should be condemned. Neither should a Muslim engage in such evil practices unless he wishes to dwell in the pit of fire for the eternity.

And Allah knows best.


All praise be to Allah.
When the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) saw a young man merely looking at a young woman, he turned his head so as to make him look away, then he said: “I saw a young man and a young woman, and I did not trust the shaytaan not to tempt them.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (885) and classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.

This certainly does not mean that it is haram for a man or a woman to like a specific person when he/she is ready to choose a spouse. It is not haram to feel kindness or sympathy towards someone. Love has to do with heart and it may appear in a persons heart for the reasons known or unknown. What is haram are the actions that follow this feeling. The haram conversations, mixing or looking, that is what is haram.

If it is because of previous acquaintance, being related or because of hearing about that person, and one cannot ward it off, then there is nothing wrong with that love, so long as one adheres to the sacred limits set by Allaah.

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

If love develops for a reason that is not haraam, a person cannot be blamed for that, such as one who loves his wife or his slave woman, then he leaves her but that love remains and does not leave him. He is not to be blamed for that. The same applies if he glances accidentally then looks away, but love may settle in his heart without him wanting it to. But he has to ward it off and look away. End quote.

Rawdat al-Muhibbeen (p. 147).

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

A person may hear that a woman is of good character and virtuous and knowledgeable so he may want to marry her. Or a woman may hear that a man is of good character and virtuous and knowledgeable and religiously committed, so she may want to marry him. But contact between the two who admire one another in ways that are not Islamically acceptable is the problem, which leads to disastrous consequences.

In this case, it is not permissible for the man to get in touch with the woman or for the woman to get in touch with the man, and say that he wants to marry her. Rather he should tell her wali (guardian) that he wants to marry her, or she should tell her wali that she wants to marry him, as ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) did when he offered his daughter Hafsah in marriage to Abu Bakr and ‘Uthmaan (may Allaah be pleased with them both). But if the woman contacts the man directly, this is what leads to fitnah (temptation). End quote.

Liqaa’aat al-Baab il-Maftooh (26/question no. 13)

The love is pure, it wants other person only good. While as haram relation may look good and pleasing it will eventually take a person to hell(if dies in that state). A person in haram relation does not care about Allah or anyone else, just himself and his selfishness.

A person must abstain from haram things and keep their hearts and feelings pure and filled with pure love for Creator and mankind. He/she must adhere to the limits set by the Allah and not let Shayateen divert them from the true path.

And Allaah knows best. May Allah help all the Muslim youth who have fallen into the trap of false love and fill their hearts with the love for the creator and pure love.


Haram Relationships Boyfriend/Girlfriend

Advice for the One Who Said . . . 
“OK So, it’s Haram! But, I love him!!”

Haram Relationships (boyfriend/girlfriend) are not permitted without marriage in Islam. Many reasons for this include:

1. (Haram Relationships) Full rights of marriage, fidelity, stable home, security, legitimate children & proper family life.

2. Give any children born full legitimate family rights, stable home, dual parental care & upbringing, full inheritance.

3. Grand parents rights to their legitimate grandchildren, enjoy their families.

4. Protect the sanctity of legitimate relationship and bond between spouses, security of intimacy and faithfulness.

5. Family involvement to build lasting, secure and ongoing relationship for the entire family on both sides.

But most important – it is a COMMANDMENT FROM GOD

This is not a new Commandment. It was given to the people all the way back to ancient prophets, peace be upon them all. The Jews and Christians still have it in several places in their Bible.

Certainly Muslims are aware of the Commandments of Allah in the Quran (read Surah An-Nur, chapter 24, inshallah):
Close friends, that Day, will be enemies to each other, except for the righteous!

Love haram But still, we have sisters telling us, “But I love him!” 
“WHAT? EVEN THOUGH IT IS HARAM??”
She says, “But still, you don’t know how I feel, and Allah knows my heart. I just love him so much and he loves me too”.

OK – Here are some facts, dear sisters – so listen and listen good.

You think he “loves you”? No. He doesn’t love you!
Sister, no matter how much you think he loves you here in this world – he’ll hate you a million times more on Judgment Day!

He will hate you more than anyone else on the Day of Judgment!
He will blame you for the relationship and he will ask Allah to throw you into Hell-Fire, instead of him.

You think you “Love him”? No. You don’t!
You don’t love him. You lust (desire) him and want to influence his life and use him for your own desire.

Do you love his “sweet words”? Sister, those “sweet words” are the whispers of the devil himself.

Or maybe you “love the way other girls will be jealous of you”?
Maybe you think he is a “real man” or because he seems “popular”? A real man doesn’t take advantage of a girl, ruining her reputation in the community and then moving on to the next “special girl” to “love him”.
Or he is “kind to you”?

Women in Islam
Women in Islam

How kind is it to throw someone’s life away? And then let them go to Hell?
A good Muslim girl only loves the man she will accept to marry because of his commitment to Allah. The more he tries to serve Allah and care for his family as a good Muslim man should, then the more a good Muslim girl will love her husband. That is a simple fact.

Does he want to marry you? Really? So why doesn’t he talk to your father or wali, instead of talking to his buddies about how he’s got this Muslim girlfriend?

What about all those “Promises”? The more he promises, the more disappointed you are going to be later. THAT IS A PROMISE!

REAL LOVE TEST – Try this “True Love Test” on him:

1. Does he care more about you or Allah? Think about that. If he loves you more than Allah, the Creator of the universe, the One giving us life, then where do you think you will fit in his life later on?

2. (Haram) Does he want good for you in this life? – Halal, faithful marriage? Maintain your virginity? Uphold your reputation? Care for your family & parents?

3. Does he truly love you as his Muslim sister? – Would he let his sister have a “boyfriend”? If he would, then he doesn’t care much about his sister, or Islam for that matter. If he would not allow his sister to have a boyfriend, then what does that say about his true feelings toward you?

4. Does he want good for you in the Next Life? – What happens to people who have relationships outside of marriage? Is there punishment for fornication in the Next Life? Would he let you go to Hell so he can have pleasure by using you?

Try this “True Islam Test”

1. Really!! does he want you with him in Jannah, close to our prophet, peace be upon him, in the Next Life?

2. Really!! Does he only speak to you in front of your wali (father, brother or guardian) being present?

3. Is he mutaqqeen (truly righteous)? What about you? You said you know it is Haram, but you will do it anyway? Is that righteous?-

Read Surah Al Zukhruf, chapter 43, verse 67 Allah Says, “Close friends, that Day, will be enemies to each other, except for the righteous”

If you guys really love each other, then you don’t shove each other into the Fire of Hell. You would do whatever it takes to stay out of Hell and help each other in righteousness.

True love? That should be for eternity, not for a few months, weeks, or a couple of nights out. 
Halal relationship in Islam? It’s permitted. No problem! Right after a simple agreement is fulfilled – it’s called MARRIAGE.
Now ask yourself, “Do I love Allah?” 
Of course you do.

Haram Boyfriend/Girlfriend
Haram Boyfriend/Girlfriend

But there are two types of love that cannot come together in the heart of a believer:

1. LOVE of Allah, the Rabbil Alameen, Lord of the Worlds, Maliki Yawmadeen, Master of the Day of Judgment!

2. Love of Haram.

Sister, wake up! STOP NOW – before it’s gets worse and you can’t stop. You can still get out of this. Leave this HARAM way – NOW!
Leave it for Allah. Turn to Allah and make Tawbah, repent to Allah now!
Allah will grant you much more that what you will give up of this Haram.
But you have to be strong in front of shaytaan, strong against the shaytaan’s words and shaytaan feelings in both of you.

Make the first step – ask Allah, “Guide me, Allah. Forgive me and guide me to what is better for me here and in the Hereafter, Ameen.”
Cry! You need to. Cry more. You’ll feel better.

Tell your parents, you are ready for marriage. And be very serious about going through what it takes to get married (soon) to the right Muslim boy!
Remember, “Never wait for tomorrow to fix what you are doing today! Tomorrow may never come!”

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