All praise be to Allah.

There are 3 purposes of sexual intimacy in Islam.

1. It is mandatory for the conservation of human race and continuity of its kind. It has this divine purpose to show gratitude to the creator.

2. The congested semen or body fluids inside the body can cause serious illnesses and hence has to be ejected out.

3. To fulfill ones desire of sexual pleasure and enjoyment of this blessing.

Apart form these purposes, it is good for human health and yields essential health benefits.

Semen is rich in prostaglandins, which are harmone like fatty acids. These are found in whole of the body but vastly in semen. These are primary nutrients that affect the essential and normal body processes which include blood presure, metabolism, body temperature etc. Hence understanding its effects on body, this important water must be wisely used.

This means to wisely value the reasons behind dispensing of this precious water of life for either conceiving a child, or emitting it through lawful sexual intercourse upon congestion.

Congested semen which are retained for long periods of time inside the body may effect it negatively and may cause various ailments including obsession, lunacy and even insanity. Engaging in lawful sexual intercourse may aid in the recovery from such illnesses.

Moreover, congestion of semen for extra long periods can cause its corruption and may turn it into harmful toxin that a human body cannot easily dispose off. However, sometimes,nature produces a spontaneous and involuntary emission of excess semen, usually during sleep, and without sexual intercourse.

A person must not abstain from having lawful sexual intercourse, for a water well drains out if its water if it’s not used regularly.

Imam Muhammad ibn Zakariyya once said:

“Abstaining from sexual intercourse for an extended period weakens one’s nervous system, can cause obstruction of the urethra, and shrinks the penis.”

He added when he observed some people who vowed temporary abstention from sexual intercourse, that their sexual energy diminished, they suffered general weakness of their bodies, became doleful, lost their desire, and their digestive system became corrupt.

All these benefits are that kf lawful sexual intercourse. Unlawful intercourse leads to destruction and wrath of Allah taala.

Other benefits of lawful sexual intercourse include protection from unlawful things including looking at haraam and preserving ones chastity. With it a person is able to control his desire from unlawful and haraam and protects his spouse as well. Imam Ahmad alluding to abstention from sex, once said:

“I exercise patience when fasting from food and drink, though it is still difficult.”

He also reported in his collection of correct prophetic traditions that Allah’s Messenger (SAW) encouraged the believers to get married, saying:

“Get married, and conceive many children for I shall take pride in your number on the day of judgment.”

Ibn Abbass (RA) narrated that Allah’s Messenger (SAW) said:

“I get married, eat meat, sleep, stand up in night prayers, fast, and break my fast. Whoever disdains from my traditions (Sunnah) is not one of my followers.”

He (SAW) also said:

“O young men whoever among you has the means to establish a family, he should get married, for marriage preserves the chastity of one’s eyes and sexual organ, and whoever cannot afford to establish a family, he must fast from desiring sex, for abstention in that case will protect him from sin.”

Ibn Abbass (RA) one said:

“We recognize that marriage is the best solution for two people who are in love.”

It is also narrated in the two collections of correct prophetic traditions that Allah’s Messenger (SAW) said:

Allah’s Messenger (SAW) also encouraged people to choose the young and fertile. On this subject, Mu’qal bin Yasar related that a man said to Allah’s Messenger (SAW):

“I found a beautiful woman from a noble family but she cannot bear children, should I marry her? Allah’s Messenger (SAW) replied, “Nay.” The man came back and asked a third time and asked the same question, Allah’s Messenger (SAW) turned to his companions and said: “Choose in your wives the fertile and the affectionate, for I shall take pride in your number on the day of judgment.”

And Allah knows best.

WHAT DOES ISLAM SAY ABOUT FORCED AND SECRET MARRIAGE


In the name of Allah, the most compassionate, the most merciful.

Allah has created the bond of marriage as the most sacred bond between a man and a woman. Marriage makes it possible and permissible for them to enjoy each other. Allah has described this bond as:

And among His signs is this that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your hearts: Verily in that are signs for those who reflect. (Quran 30:21)

Marriage is also an important part of the Sunnah. The Messenger of Allah (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) said: “The Nikah is my Sunnah (way), whosoever leaves my Sunnah is not from amongst me” (Kitabus Sunan – Mishkat)

The Prophet of Allah (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) has also said as narrated by Ibn Masud (May Allah be pleased with him)

“Young men, those of you who can support a wife should marry, for it keeps you from looking at nonpermissible females and protects you from immorality. However, those who cannot should devote themselves to fasting, for it is a means of suppressing sexual desire.” (Bukhari and Muslim)

Regardless, we find in today’s world that there are marriages that are totally improper and unfair and also makes ones life miserable.  These marriages are either forced or arranged against a person’s will. Islam does not support in any way a marriage where either the man or woman is unhappy with the setup.

Forced Marriages

The first thing we must know that Islam does not approve of any sort of Forced marriage. It is not valid and is haraam. We must understand that love and compatibility must be ensured by both the parties. However, we must know that The issue of forced marriage is not only a Muslim problem but can occur in any community. It is, unfortunately, happening in our society even today and Islam highly condemns it. The approval of both the parties is must to form a marriage contract.

Islam regards the marriage as the right of an individual and therefore others cannot force them into something that they do not want in their life. No one can make a decision on their behalf, and if one happens to do that, he is answerable on the day of judgment, to Allah. No one has the right to put the person’s life into miseries, no matter what the reasons are. Allah has given all the Human Beings the power to decide for themselves and this is one matter where he/she has to decide for himself/herself.

 If a woman/man is forced into marriage then the marriage would not be valid and would, therefore, need to be canceled. However, daughters and sons should also recognize the rights of their parents and come to an agreed solution before the marriage takes place.

If this does not happen then those who forced the marriage and those who allowed it is both guilty and has committed a major sin. The following incident clarifies the position of forced marriages in Islam;

Khansa Bint Khidam said “My father married me to his nephew, and I did not like this match, so I complained to the Messenger of Allah (May Allah bless him and grant him peace). He said to me “accept what your father has arranged.” I said, “I do not wish to accept what my father has arranged.”

He said, “then this marriage is invalid, go and marry whomever you wish.” I said “I have accepted what my father has arranged, but I wanted women to know that fathers have no right in their daughter’s matters (i.e. they have no right to force a marriage on them). (Fathul Bari Sharah Al Bukhari 9/194, Ibn Majah Kitabun Nikah 1/602)

At first, The Prophet (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) asked her to obey her father as the concern of a father is the well being of his daughter. He advised her to follow her fathers decision and make peace among families but when he (peace be upon him ) realize that she did not want this marriage and this marriage was forced upon her, he nullified it and gave her the freedom to choose, and saved her from the oppression of a father who wanted to force her into unwanted marriage.

After hearing this she clearly mentioned to Prophet (Peace be upon him) that she does not want to cancel the marriage but wanted people to know that no father can force his daughter into a marriage that she did not want.

however, it must be noted that just like a parent does not have the right to force his child into marriage, the child too is not allowed to marry anyone by disobeying his/her parents. There is no place for disobedience to one’s parents in Islam.

Secret Marriages

Let’s try to define secret marriages first. “Any marriage contract taking place between  a man and a woman without the knowledge of the parents of one or both the individuals, marriage was done without the consent of the parents, marriage, about which no one is aware.”

Secret marriages are highly disliked in Islam and are considered as haraam if one goes against the will of the parents. 

The reason for this is that it means that those who are responsible for them are not advised of it and the couple will go against their parents by doing so. The Messenger of Allah (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) has clearly stressed that the will of the father is the will of Allah (Bukhari) also how important it is to obtain the dua of one’s parents.

We recognize that some parents need to be advised and talked about the issue regarding marriage, this should be done by asking relatives or local Imaam’s to intervene. If one’s parents are not agreeing than try to convince them. Parents must also note that they must not be so strict regarding such issues and push their children to take extreme steps.

Create an atmosphere of love and respect for you. Remember your children are humans too and have emotions as well as feelings. Getting hard on them and leading them to sin of disobedience is also a great sin. Children may also note that they understand the reason behind the parent’s advice and give those a thought.

It is, however, the duty of both, parents and children to try to maintain peace and love in the family and protect one another from the wrath of Allah and destruction. Insha Allah, a marriage can only ever obtain spiritual comfort if the dua of one’s mother and father is with them.

Whilst the secret marriage may be valid it does not mean it is right and blessed.

May Allah give us the ability to understand the sacred concept of marriage and the Islamic approach towards it.

Allah (SWT) mentioned in surah AR-RUM that from amongst the signs of Allah (SWT) i.e. which indicates the greatness, grandeur, and majesty of Allah, signs which are indicative of the oneness of Allah (SWT). Amongst those signs is that he has created from you “mates” so that you may find rest in her and he has made between you love and mercy indeed this (marriage) is a sign for those who think.

One of the signs of Allah is Marriage :

It seems a little bit out of place, we are talking about thunder and the lighting, heavens and the earth and we’re talking about the creation of man and how Allah is carrying the heavens without pillars and then the topic of the simple and settle topic of marriage comes up and that is also put side by side with these massive things.

marriage
Marriage


For those who are married and Allah (SWT) has blessed them with spouses, they understand why marriage is sign which is no less in greatness then the heavens and in the earth, thunder, lighting they are aware but perhaps amongst us are those who are not married and we are still little bit confused, maybe we can uncover some of the confusion today.

Why is marriage considered as one of those signs?

Nikah Marriage
Nikah Marriage

One of the reason perhaps it is because here you have two individuals the male and female who have never met each other before who are perhaps raised and nurtured and educated in two different sometimes even conflicting societies. They ate different food they inhale different Air they look different, they had different thoughts and most probably different ages and lo and behold in the single contract called that marriage contract.

They become the closest human beings to ever exist on the earth, this is a sign how Allah (SWT) bring heart together and that is why Allah (SWT) mentions that it was me it was I who created man from water that is our origins.

It was me who created man from the water and then I made him a relative by means of lineage and by means of marriage. Marriage is SubhanAllah a contract which brought two foreign individuals to each other and they have become closer than relatives.

This is one of the signs of the Allah (SWT) within marriage. Another of the aspects we show you how the signs of the greatness of Allah, and oneness of Allah is found in marriage why? Every Muslim brother and sisters focus with me now and take a note of this every single Muslim who traveling to Allah and perusing the pleasure of Allah (SWT), must carry with him or her, three bits of luggage, you can’t let go of any one of these three.

Marriage in islam
Marriage

If you are looking for the pleasure of Allah if you are looking for safety in your grave, if you are looking to cross the bridge (The sirat), if you are looking for your right-hand scale to be heavier, if you are looking to receive looking to receive your books in your right hand, if you are looking for Firdous AL ALA (the highest paradise’s), you need to carry three bits of luggage on your back.


As a Muslim and as a believer the first of them is TAHWEED i.e. the oneness of Allah the oneness of Allah needs to always be before your eyes. Never associating partners with Allah (SWT) in your dua or in your salah or in your sacrifices or in anything.

The second one of them, focus with me you will see how this link to marriage in a moment. The second bit of luggage that you need is what! ITTIBAA which means the following conformity to the sunnah of Prophet (PBUH). There needs to be adherence to the footsteps of Prophet (PBUH), so the second bit of luggage is the following of the tracks of the Messenger of Allah (PBUH).

Bit of Luggage that every Muslims need in his journey to Allah is TAZKIA, Tazkia meaning the purification of the soul. Always ensuring that you are manners, your morals, your emman, your Taqwa are always moving from a state of betterment to betterment, Tazkia; purifying of the soul.

What makes marriage so amazing Allah-huakbar!

Marriage Love
Marriage

And one of the signs of Allah (SWT) is that all three bits of luggage that I just mentioned can be found within the single Act called “MARRIAGE”. It’s amazing wa allahi its azim think about it, begin with Tawheed, we said the first is oneness of Allah, where on earth is that in Marriage? It is found in Marriage in the fact that Allah (SWT) has not taken himself a wife or a husband of a partner or assistant.

Allah (SWT) is not dual, he is one and marriage reminds you of the oneness of Allah How?

Because the human being you and I whether male of female he or she cannot taste the true meaning of serenity and happiness, tranquility, composure only with the assistance of a spouse.

So no matter how arrogant you and I may think we are and who clever we look with our jackets and how smart we look in Lamborghini cars and how independent we think because we now have a good wage coming in every month, there will come a point in your life when you will hit a dead end and you will say I can’t go anymore, I can’t even think straight anymore, I need to be married I need a spouse and that is a reminder of the oneness of Allah.

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