SPICE UP YOUR MARRIED LIFE

Marriage is a sacred bond, a Sunnah of our Prophet Muhammad(saw) and the way of attaining the pleasure of Allah.

Married Life:

When everything is new, it is easy to remain enthusiastic, but the reality is that somehow along the way in that journey, many people lose sight of the beauty in a good marriage and fall into negative patterns. A marital bond is something that is meant to be cultivated and grown with efforts from both husband as well as a wife. Whether you are just beginning your married life or are into it for quite some time. Add value to your bond and relation. Here are some tips to spice up your beautiful journey.

1.   Set aside time for your spouse (Married Life)

Aisha (RA) reported that she was with Allah’s messenger during a journey. She said, “I was not bulky”. He told his companions to move forward and they did. He then told me: “Come and race me”. I raced him on foot and I beat him. But, on another journey, when I became bulky, he asked me to race him. I raced him and he beat me. He started laughing and said: “This makes up for that beating”.

The greatest gift that you can give your spouse in a marriage is endless your time. Of course, we have work and daily chores that need to be fulfilled but not giving your spouse the proper time that they deserve is being unjust towards them. How can one expect a beautiful understanding and strong bond with another person if he/she doesn’t spend time with his/her spouse?

It is this primary bond that will build the foundation of the family, so it has to be nurtured. Take drives, go out on walks, and even sit back at the end of the evening with a cup of tea or coffee to have a meaningful conversation.

married life

2. Express your love through gratitude

“And of His signs is that He has created spouses for yourselves from your own selves so you might take comfort in them and He has created love and mercy among both of you. In this, there is evidence (of the truth) for the people who (carefully) think.” (Surah 30, Verse 21).

Love and mercy should be the hallmarks of any solid marriage and relationship. We see that it is stipulated in the scriptures. But is this truly what is practiced in modern daily life?

One must never take another person for granted. We all have our emotional needs. Certain actions of kindness and love work a great deal. Also, a nice little gesture or word indicating your love towards your spouse is great. That extra snack that your wife packs into your lunchbox or when your husband agrees to take the children away so that you can have time at your Mum’s place, can all seem mandatory and expected.

3.   Make an effort

Sayyiduna Ibn Abbās Radi Allahu anhu said: “As my wife adorns herself for me, I adorn myself with her. I do not want to take all of my rights from her so that she will not take all of her rights from me because of Allah, the Exalted, stated the following: “And women shall have rights similar to the rights against them.” (Qur῾ān2:228.)[11]

Our spouses have the right to see us in good shape and hygiene. Always remember that your spouse is a deserving recipient of your best. Marriage can be a complex situation at times, but there are still basic principles of a man and woman and attraction at play in a husband and wife relationship in Islam and an effort made in this department can help strengthen the marital bond.

A good scent, a clean body, good dress, and some makeup and accessories for the ladies all communicate to your spouse that you have a positive attitude about yourself and that you respect your marriage enough to make the effort. Men must also make the effort to be well-groomed to the best of their ability.

married life

4.   Do fun, halaal activities together

The Prophet (sall Allahu alaihe wa sallam) stated, “Allah is pleased when a husband plays with his wife, due to this he fixes Sawaab (good reward) for them or he establishes halal rizq (lawful sustenance) for them.” (Al-Ifsah Ibn Hajr Haithami)

From an Islamic perspective, marriage is treated with the utmost solemnity. However, this does not mean that fun within the marriage context should not be had.

As much as marriage can fall into a routine, it is important that as a couple you two retain the identity of man and wife. Before the two of you may have become mum and dad, you were both each other’s sweethearts and it is important to retain that identity and grow the love that exists there. Play games, eat out at your favorite restaurants and get the heart rate up with some fun adrenaline -filled sport. Create a buzz that you will remember and talk about for years to come.

married life

5.   Be thoughtful, kind and give gifts (Married Life)

“Be kind towards your women. Take heed! You have rights over your women and your women also have rights over you. Their rights over you are that you provide food and clothing for them in good faith. Your rights over them are that they do not allow and nor do they give permission, for people to trespass into your house whose presence you dislike.” 

There is an understanding from this Hadith and the essence of that understanding is that there are rights and responsibilities that exist between men and women. A man must take the helm as a provider, but equally, a woman needs to close ranks and protect the home from any presence that may threaten it.

Get him or her, their favorite attar or book they would like to read. Contrary to what it may seem like, these are not necessarily material expressions of love. What it does convey, is that you took the time to observe and listen to your partner’s needs and found ways to meet them, which is in itself an ideal way to endear yourself to your partner.

married life

6.   Communicate with each other regarding feelings (Married Life)

The Prophet (sall Allahu alaihe wa sallam) said, “I severely dislike that woman who puts her cloak on and leaves the home in order to complain about her husband.” (Tabrani, Haithami)

If indeed your marriage has come to the point, where you feel that you need to go outside of the home to vent and complain about your spouse, perhaps it might be time to re-examine your methods of communication. Consider taking the time to discuss feelings and emotions. Both men and women are different in the ways in which they feel and interpret behavior. Make sure conversations are constructive, rather than destructive.

Speak from a place of building rather than breaking down. As husband and wife in Islam, you should always speak about how you feel and don’t just express displeasure but also speak of your joys and successes. If you are displeased with something about your spouse, converse with him/her in most polite and humble way. If your spouse is upset with you try to bring joy and fix the problem without being stubborn.

married life

7.   Take responsibility for the energy you bring to the table

Narrated AbuHurayrah: When the Prophet (peace be upon him) congratulated a man on his marriage, he said: May Allah bless for you, and may He bless on you, and combine both of you in good (works).

Sunan of Abu Dawood – Book 11 Hadith 2125

From this narration of hadith, it is evident that each partner needs to take responsibility for the attitude and the actions that they bring to the table in married life. The good works referred to isn’t necessarily a reference just to actions and deeds, but also to act in good faith and good spirit toward one another.

Married Life :

8.   Be positive and spontaneous

“The most perfect believer in faith is the one whose character is finest and who is kindest to his wife.” Hadith

Love and marriage thrive under positive action. Take that leave that you’ve been putting off. For just one evening of the week, skip the gym and get home a little earlier to your wife. Ladies, meet your husband in the middle of a workday for a lunch date. Most importantly speak to your spouse in the quiet times about acts of spontaneity that would add value to their lives. Then make it a part of the marriage ‘bucket-list’ to go about adding those highlights to their lives.

married life

9. Remember the good times and protect each other

“They (your wives) are a clothing (covering) for you and you too are a clothing (covering) for them.” (Surah 2, Verse 187)

Marriage is the ultimate act of teamwork. With this in mind, protect your partner, speak positivity into their life. Remember that you are not just a marital partner, but the other half of a winning team (married life). Inshallah, your marriage is a growing asset and foundation upon which you will raise wonderful children and fulfill the goals of half of your deen.

10. Allow your spouse to be themselves (Married Life)

Narrated by Thawban: When (the wahi) “And those who hoard gold and silver” came down they were with the Prophet (sall Allahu alaihi wa sallam) on one of his journeys. One of his companions said, “It has come down about gold and silver. Would that we knew which property is best so that we might acquire it!” He replied, “The best property is a tongue which mentions Allah, a grateful heart, and a believing wife who helps a man with his faith.”

Ahmad, Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah transmitted it.

[Al-Tirmidhi – Hadith 2275]

Accept your spouse for who they are. Be present in the relationship and the marriage that you have built.  Simply put, what this means is accepting your spouse and allowing them the space to be themselves. Too often in marriages, one or the other spouse tends to dominate, scold or belittle the other in front of guests and the children just to keep up appearances. Such behavior places a damper on the spirit of the marriage.

Yes, there may be aspects in the other that cause you irritation, but the truth is that variety is the spice of life.

If you really have a problem with the way your husband slurps his soup or if you find your wife’s laughter to be a little too high-pitched at a social gathering, quietly and lovingly address such issues away from the public eye. Remember that the purpose of a journey in marriage is to grow together and part of that is allowing your loved one to be true to who they are.

May Allah bless us all.

WHAT DOES ISLAM SAY ABOUT “LOVE BEFORE MARRIAGE”

“LOVE BEFORE MARRIAGE” IN ISLAM (Love Marriage)

Marriage is a very special and sacred bond created by Allah subhana-wa-ta’ala between a man and a woman.
Marriage makes them permissible for one another and lives a life of beauty. Allah azzawajal has described in glorious Quran this relationship in most beautiful terms and has mentioned that this bond is filled with love, mercy, compassion, security, and understanding. (love marriage)

“And among His signs is this that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your hearts: Verily in that are signs for those who reflect. (Quran 30:21)

Thus a marriage is a blessing and a source of mercy and comfort for a man. It is also a very important Sunnah of our beloved Prophet Muhammad (saw)

love marriage
Love Marriage

Love Marriage :

 The Messenger of Allah (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) said:

“The Nikah is my Sunnah (way), whosoever leaves my Sunnah is not from amongst me” (Kitabus Sunan – Mishkat)

In another narration he has narrated: 

“Young men, those of you who can support a wife should marry, for it keeps you from looking at non-permissible females and protects you from immorality. However, those who cannot devote themselves to fasting, for it is a means of suppressing sexual desire.” (Bukhari and Muslim)

In Islam, a marriage is valid if both bride and groom have accepted the bond and by the permission of the parents of both of them. 

Islam does not blame a person’s feeling. One can have a feeling of love for known or unknown reason and he/she is not accountable for what he feels. The emotion of love that one feels is not the subject of questioning on the day of Judgement. But the actions that follow that emotion are accountable.

If the actions lead to evil, it is forbidden. If it doesn’t then it is acceptable. If it prompts you to see that person in seclusion, talk to them for hours, hide that from your parents than it is forbidden, my brothers and sisters. 

love marriage

Some Hadith and Quranic verses that support this:

“….then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery) should be moved with desire” (Quran – Surah Al-Ahzaab : 32)

“Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him not be alone with a woman who has no mahram present, for the third one present will be the Shaytaan.” (Ahmad – saheeh by al-Albaani)

“And come not near to unlawful sex. Verily, it is a Faahishah (i.e. anything that transgresses its limits: a great sin, and an evil way that leads one to hell unless Allah Forgives him)” (Quran – Al-Isra’ : 32)

“If one of you were to be stabbed in the head with an iron needle, that would be better for him than his touching a woman who is not permissible for him.” (Al-Tabaraani –saheeh by al-Albaani)

Marriages that are done due to people falling in love are acceptable as long as they do not cross the limits set by Allah azawajal (love marriage).

If a person happens to love someone he/she should approach the other lawfully and get married immediately (love marriage). For marriage will protect them from evil sexual desires and indeed from hellfire.

“And of His signs is that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you might reside with them, and has put love and mercy between you. Surely, there are signs in this for those who think. (Quran – Al-Room : 21)

If a child asks his/her parent to get him/her married than they must do so immediately. Excuses like caste, race, color, society, financial status etc. are not accepted. The only things that matter are the deen of Allah and a good character. If you deny your child the right to marriage with the person of their choice on the grounds of financial status or caste than you are accountable for your action. May Allah protect us all.

Abu Hurairah narrates that the Messenger of Allah (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) said :

“when one with whose religion and character you are satisfied asks your daughter in marriage then accede to his request. If you do not do so then there will be a temptation in the earth and extensive corruption”. (Tirmidhi)

love marriage

In Islam, it is not a sin to feel a specific way or feeling of affection for a certain individual since a human being has no control over such things. However, he is definitely responsible for the actions that follow. He will be accountable if he got carried away by this feeling. That is where a man has to restrain himself and protect himself from harm.

Islam does not allow the illicit relationship between a man and a woman. Allah has established the bond of marriage between a man and a woman so that both of them enjoy each other’s company in a legitimate way and bot may attain Allah’s mercy and blessing. There is no blessing in an illicit affair.

Islam forbids all forms of ‘dating’ and isolating oneself with a member of the opposite sex, as well indiscriminate mingling and mixing.

Correspondence between sexes leads to fitnah. If, however, one does none of the above, and all that he or she wants is to seriously consider marrying someone, such a thing itself is not considered haram.

In fact, Islam encourages us to marry persons for whom we have special feelings and affinity. Thus, Islam recommends that potential marriage partners see one another before proposing marriage. Which in no sense means that we are allowed to “date”.

Love Marriage :

The permissible ways to get the one whom you loves are sufficient i.e

Contact the wali or the guardian of the person whom you desire to marry, there is no need for haraam means (love marriage), but we make it hard for ourselves and the Shaytaan takes advantage of that.

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

A person may hear that a woman is of good character and virtuous and knowledgeable so he may want to marry her. Or a woman may hear that a man is of good character and virtuous and knowledgeable and religiously committed, so she may want to marry him.

love marriage

But contact between the two who admire one another in ways that are not Islamically acceptable is the problem, which leads to disastrous consequences (love marriage). In this case, it is not permissible for the man to get in touch with the woman or for the woman to get in touch with the man and say that he wants to marry her.

Rather he should tell her wali (guardian) that he wants to marry her, or she should tell her wali that she wants to marry him, as ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) did when he offered his daughter Hafsah in marriage to Abu Bakr and ‘Uthmaan (may Allaah be pleased with them both). But if the woman contacts the man directly or if the man contacts woman directly, this is may lead to fitnah (temptation).


MARRYING MR. RIGHT IN WRONG WAY TOWN

Marrying Mr. Right

IN THE NAME OF ALLAH, THE MOST GRACIOUS, THE MOST MERCIFUL

Marriages are made in heaven, but the wedding ceremony takes place on earth … and at times, besides the Mehr-e-Fatimi, there is nothing heavenly about it. (Marrying Mr. Right in wrong way town)

Many thousands of years ago, long before this earth was even created, when the pen of destiny was writing in the skies, the sweetest thing happened: the name of your sweetheart was placed next to yours.

Special consideration was taken in this sacred union by the Almighty Himself.

mr. right
Marrying Mr. Right

It was to be blessed with happiness and prosperity. But sadly on our part on earth, the way some of us conduct our wedding ceremonies nowadays, it seems that everyone but the Almighty, that loving Being responsible for our happiness, is relevant and needs to be obeyed and pleased.

Our ideas of having a modern un-Islamic and fancy wedding starts many years before we even find our better half. These crazy wedding fantasies are mostly obtained from romance novels, movies, sitcoms, fashion magazines and ofcourse, the bad example set by others in our own family and community.

We have all read about the simplicity of our Noble Prophet Muhammad (May peace be upon him) and how his daughters got married, but there is always a big BUT to it:

“We know its sunnat to be simple, BUT we can’t exclude anyone from the invitation list.” “It’s our first daughter’s wedding and we know it has to be simple, BUT we can’t break her heart.”

The best justification yet for abandoning the blessed Prophetic way is this:

“Our neighbor got married last year and although they are only working class, they invited 1000 people. Must we now keep it simple and show they are richer than us? We are not cheapskates! Let’s show them and invite 2000 people.”

Mr. Right
Marrying Mr. Right

No one can plead ignorance as to how the ideal Islamic marriage is to be conducted nowadays, but somehow everyone seems to forget this when their daughter starts weeping or when the neighbours may comment how stingy one is for not making the send off of their child a most memorable one.

We seem to be more worried of the opinion of people and our status in society than the pleasure of the Almighty. For this disobedience, we are punished in various ways without even realizing it.

Let us now see what’s wrong with our wedding functions nowadays.

Besides the mandatory Nikah ceremony which is usually held in the Masjid, and the Waleemah (nuptial feast), it must be known that nothing else is really prescribed in Islam.

But Islam is only meant for the books nowadays, so many couples unofficially marry their sweethearts over facebook or by dating a few months or years before the official marriage ceremony.

When they do decide to tie the knot, they call upon the friendly community Shaikh or Imam to solemnize their Nikah in a Masjid. Sometimes, a special Shaikh is flown in from overseas to add to the status of the marriage. At times, the blessed environment of the Masjid is left out and the Nikah is solemnized in the hall.

The Shaikh or the Imam is only there to legalize the contract, and to make sure he turns a blind eye to all the wrong going on around him. The serious lecture on the rights of husband and wife in the Masjid is replaced by gags and giggles by a humorous MC in the hall, and the sacred atmosphere is very soon turned to one of merry-making and fun.

Sometimes, the Imam is even used as a rubber stamp to sanction all the evil that takes place at these gatherings; and after the white envelope is safely tucked away in his pocket, he will even pose for a photoshoot!

Yes, we have taken our religion for granted.

mr. right
Marrying Mr. Right in wrong way town

And this is why on the day when we are supposed to be pleasing the Almighty the most, we anger Him the most. We pay the price for this many years thereafter without even knowing it.

Some marriages end in messy divorces a short while thereafter, some couples have endless financial, in-laws, addiction, extra-marital or family issues, whilst others go through so much depression and anxiety in their marriage that they wish they could turn the clock back and would’ve never married.

Let’s not be foolish and destroy our future lives for one day of pleasure. Do it right so the rest of your life can go right.

There is no mehndi night, belly dancing night, meethu mauru (sweetmeat) night, or bachelor night. There are no lavish meals a week or two before the nikah ceremony, and late nights of gossiping and smoking. Yes, family and friends are welcome to visit and create an atmosphere of joy, but there is no elaborate occasion for this.

In fact, the custom of delaying the wedding for many months after the proposal is also un-Islamic as Islam teaches us to marry as soon as a suitable partner is found. About a month is a reasonable time to prepare, not ten to twenty months! The more the marriage is delayed, the more attention the families will pay to shopping and planning a lavish wedding.

It will also give more time for mischief makers to dig up the past of the future couple and start spreading rumors, which sometimes lead to the breakup of the couple or delaying it for several years.

The couple should separately attend marriage classes before their wedding, and register for various workshops offered in this regard.

Authentic literature can also be studied so that the couple makes a mental adjustment of what is expected of them after the Nikah. For boys in particular, your ten fishing buddies will be replaced by one killer mermaid, so prepare for it. Also remember that the ring band given at the time of engagement is no license to see each other or go out together before the Nikah.

There will be ample time for that afterwards.

Now comes the big day. Keep it simple.

Our most noble Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) told us that the wedding in which the least amount of expenditure is incurred, will have the most blessings.

He (peace be upon him) also told us that the function to which the poor is not invited, is cursed. So, let us compete in earning the pleasure of the Almighty, and not by competing with the Jone’s. Never take a loan for a wedding. Islam doesn’t place such a burden on one’s shoulder. There is simply no need to pitch up at the hall in a hot-air balloon or in your distant cousin’s yellow Ferrari. No need to walk down the aisle with a R40 000- gown which you will never wear thereafter, to the accompaniment of haraam music.

There is no need for a five-course meal, photoshoots and making elaborate videos of the day for which half the people don’t end up paying.

Watch This Video!!! Mr. Right in wrong way town


The function can be held in a humble tent or a Masjid or community hall – there is no need to hire out halls for as much as R50 000- per day when Muslims around the world are starving or fleeing for their lives from war-torn areas.

But extravagance is not the only issue at weddings. The show of outfits, intermingling of men and women and the mountains of makeup is even worse.

Many guests dress up as if they are getting married on the day, and some women apply so much make-up that a skyscraper can be built on their face! For them, scarves are meant for the shoulders, not the heads! Some brides and grooms tend to be religious in their daily lives, but on the wedding day they throw caution to the wind.

It’s also observed that some functions do have a partition to separate the ladies and the men, but as soon as the biryani is served, the floor crossing starts.

This is called yo-yo partition – up down, up down! The competition peaks when the designer gifts, or kunchas, are displayed for all to see in the hall or in the bride’s home.

Some gifts will have money made in the shape of trees, some will have expensive watches and exotic jewelry, some fruity perfumes and the latest outfits, whilst others will have grape juice in wine-shaped bottles and Swiss chocolates. It’s such shows of ostentation that invites burglars to break into one’s home on the wedding day.

The above are just a few of our crimes committed on the wedding day.

Watch This Video!!! Mr. Right in wrong way town


Apart from these crimes, we have the bad habit of arriving late as per “Indian Time” (two hours late) or according to “Arab Time” (five hours late).

Never mind the cook, the children and the elderly, as well as the sickly and diabetics are greatly inconvenienced by this. Those who need to travel a great distance to return home or those who do not want to miss their Fajr prayers are also pained. Let us take heed of these factors and change our ways.

For those who had a wedding reception in which some or all the above crimes were committed, there is a way out. Repent sincerely to the Almighty; as expiation, make sure that the same mistakes are not committed when you get your children married one day. Take it upon yourself to advise family and friends to keep their weddings simple.

Read the life story of the Queen of Paradise, Sayyidah Fatima az-Zahra and the Pure Wives of the Prophet, and try to emulate their example of simplicity and piety. Above all, break the cycle by setting a good example.

Finally, remember that weddings last only a day, but a marriage lasts a lifetime.

Watch This Video!!! Mr. Right in wrong way town

Let’s put the same effort daily in our marriages as we put on our wedding day, and our lives will become heaven on earth.  Aameen

MARRIAGE AFTER HARAM RELATION WITH NO ZINA (SEXUAL INTERCOURSE)

ZINA

HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ALLAH TO BLESS YOUR  MARRIAGE 

WHEN YOUR WEDDING IS FULL OF  DISOBEDIENCE TO HIM?  

All Praise be to Allah, the lord of the Heavens and Earth.

 Firstly: 

Any form of relationship between man and a woman, which is called and the unlawful and illicit relation is Haraam. It doesn’t matter if it goes as far as being intimate (Zina) which is indeed most hated, reprehensible and abhorrent type of a sin. It poses a great danger to individuals religious commitment and faith, or it is less than that, such as looking, touching or kissing. All of that is haraam and these are types of Zina in the general sense and are things that lead to the greater immoral action.

 Secondly: 

If the marriage takes place after a haraam relationship between a man and woman, then one of the following scenarios must apply:

 1. Either that marriage comes after an illegitimate sexual relationship, in which case the marriage is not valid except on the condition that both the man and woman repent from Zina and it be established that the woman is not pregnant as a result of the haraam relationship, because Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“The adulterer/fornicator marries not but an adulteress/fornicatress or a Mushrikah; and the adulteress/fornicatress, none marries her except an adulterer/fornication or a Mushrik [and that means that the man who agrees to marry (have a sexual relation with) a Mushrikah (female polytheist, pagan or idolatress) or a prostitute, then surely, he is either an adulterer/fornicator, or a Mushrik (polytheist, pagan or idolater). And the woman who agrees to marry (have a sexual relation with) a Mushrik (polytheist, pagan or idolater) or an adulterer/fornicator, then she is either a prostitute or a Mushrikah (female polytheist, pagan, or idolatress)]. Such a thing is forbidden to the believers (of Islâmic Monotheism)” [al-Noor 24:3].

2. That marriage comes from a haraam relationship, but the relationship did not go as far as Zina, such as kissing, touching and other haraam actions that are less serious than Zina. In this case, the marriage is valid because it cannot be said of those who fell into this haraam relationship that they committed Zina. 

And Allah knows best.

Daughters/Women are so special that when a male marries a female, he is reminded constantly that who you have married is the special child of someone, dear to someone, so we tell the husband’s that when you look at your wife don’t just at her as your wife, that’s not the only title she has, she had a title before that which was dearer and more valuable, what was it?

She’s the daughter of so-and-so she also has her own family that loves her and respects her, so do not disrespect her, do not abuse her, like they say don’t make her cry.

You know when my wife cries I always tell her I’m supposed to, I’m not supposed to allow you to cry, she says: ”I cry out of joy mashAllah” okay that’s good, that’s a good sign so if you’re crying out of joy and happiness Alhamdulillah but if you’re crying out of you sadness, you know you’re stuck, there is no way forward, Wallahi Allah has heard the cry of a wife/women and a daughter.

If you take a look at Surat Al Mujadilah named after a woman who came through in order to present her case to Muhammad (PBUH) where the husband became disinterested in her, read to this and i shall I will end on this note.

I tell you very interestingly there was a woman known as Khawla Bint Tha’laba (RA) so what happened to her, she was married and Masha Allah you know, a pretty beautiful woman, next thing expecting she has a child and when you have a child what happens?

Subhan Allah people forget that you’ve now born children, you’ve graduated into a new level of motherhood now and so on, you will not be the same girl you used to be 20 years back, things have to change perhaps you may change in so many ways you become wiser and perhaps you may even become a little bit heavier, (may Allah Subhanahu wa ta’ala grant us ease), she complained because her husband started losing interest or showed disinterest, he was not interested and he started saying whenever she was trying to get him, get his attention, he would say you just like my mother man, it’s okay you know you just like a mother, you just like my sister and so on she went to Muhammad (pbuh) crying weeping complaining what do I do?

This man is saying this to me, he refuses to touch me and at the same time he is the one who impregnated me, he gave me the children, he is the one who did this. When I married him I was in tip-top shape and so on. My dear brothers and sisters read carefully i want to tell you that that does not mean that when you have given birth, you should just lose yourself, no, go back, you will be able to retain a lot if you work on it may (Allah Subhanahu WA Ta’ala help us) whether they are sit-ups, leg ups whatever you want to call them they work, trust me they actually work, dedicatedly so don’t use a Hadith in order for you to throw yourself.

You know to the side, no! work on it you will feel good by the will of Allah like I said do it for the right reasons going back to this narration, so as she is complaining do you know what happened! The Prophet (PBUH) obviously it’s a difficult situation, what do you say? you need to convince the man, so verses were revealed: indeed Allah has heard the argument of the woman who has come to you complaining to Allah, Allah has heard it (the cry)  and then he gives the response and it’s a long set of verses where Allah speaks of the punishment of those who say those type of statements and how special and important the woman is, you don’t say these words (Masha Allah).

May Allah help us to make the correct decisions in life (Ameen)

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