My Wife’s Bad Temper

It is reported that once a man came to Hazrat Umar ibn Al-Khattab (Radhi Allah taala Anhu) to complain about his wife’s bad-temper & speech pattern towards him.

While he was waiting for Umar to come out of his house, he heard Umar’s wife scolding him & Umar quietly listening to her, & not answering her back.

The man astonished, turned around & started walking away, muttering to himself: “If that is the case with Umar, the caliph of the believers, as well who is famous for his uprightness & toughness, then what about poor me?

At that moment Umar came out of his house & saw the man walking away.

He called him & said, “Why have you come & what is it you want of me, O brother?

The man said: “O leader of the believers, I came to complain to you about my wife’s bad temper & how she nags me but then I overheard your wife doing the same to you, so I decided to leave.

Umar replied: “My dear brother, I have adopted a forgiving nature towards her (bad temper) because of her rights over me.

First, she cooks my food & bakes my bread. Secondly, she washes my clothes. Thirdly, she attends to the upbringing of my children & fourthly, she serves as a barrier between me & the hell-fire by keeping me away from forbidden deeds & temptation, yet none of these are her duties, but she is a comfort to my heart. So consequently, I bear with her & have patience.

The man said, “O Umar, I enjoy the same benefits from my wife but I had never overlooked her faults & shortcomings, from now on I shall do so.
Umar said, “Then, O my brother, be patient for Allah’s sake with her, for indeed this life is short & Allah will reward you for your kindness & patience towards her.

[Adh-Dhahabi, Al-Kabair 194]