★ Marriage In Islam ★
As opposed to other world faiths that view being celibate as a good quality and a path to deliverance, Islam believes marriage is an honourable and upright act of faith. The significance of marriage is given great prominence in the Holy Quran and in Hadith. (marriage in islam)
"And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your hearts. Undoubtedly in these are signs for those who reflect." (AL-Quran - Surah 30 - Verse 21)
“O Youth whoever could marry then let him marry as it will protect the vision and offer chastity, and whoever cannot then let him fast as it offers him protection..”
☛ The Purpose of Marriage in Islam :
Allah (subhana wa taalah) has told us in the Quran that marriage is love, tenderness and tranquillity and has filled the male and female hearts with a desire for the opposite sex. Only through marriage is it possible to achieve true mental and spiritual serenity.
• Marriage is a relationship which has a charter with prearranged set of requirements. Its roots are that of love and affection, and its aspect encircling all details of family life.
• Marriage safeguards the man’s existence and bringing up children to serve Allah (subhana wa taala).
•Marriage defends societies from acts of debauchery and diseases that may have been passed through sexual contact, and maintains our chastity in satisfying our sexual desires in a moral and acceptable manner.
• Marriage is the only way of creating a family and improving social relations. It would not be possible for a respectable civilization to be present if it wasn’t for family.
• Marriage develops the character of a man as a husband and a father, as well as developing the character of a woman as a wife and a woman through the duties they have to carry out.
☛ Selecting A Spouse:
Selecting a partner to marry will probably be the single most important decision we have to make in our lifetime. Great care and caution should be taken, and continuously asking Allah (subhana wa taala) for guidance in the matter.
Fore mostly, we should look for similarities within our prospective spouse that are similar to our on likes and dislikes.
• Similarity in Religion, Good Character & Good Behaviour
Our Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said:
“A woman is married for four things : Her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman; or else you will be a loser.”
He then said, “If someone with whose piety and character you are satisfied with comes to you, then marry him. If you do not do so, there will be disorder in the earth and a great deal of evil.”
A person’s character is very important in Islam as it compliments faith and piety perfectly.
• Educational Upbringing
It is best to marry a person who has an educational background that it is not much different from one another. In this way couples are more likely to have the same opinions on things, thus leading to fewer arguments.
• Cultural and Family Background
This includes nearness in the lifestyles and backgrounds of the parents.
Although there is no specific guideline for this area, it is suggested that the man be older than the woman.
• Materialistic level (Marriage in Islam)
It is best to be of similar materialistic status as a difference in this area can lead to tension between the two families.
Additionally, beauty is a particular characteristic that plays an important role, especially as an important part of marriage is to keep both partners attracted to each other.
Both partners should be happy with each other, and not forced in to marriage, because:
Our Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said:
“No previously married woman, be that she widow or divorced, may be married until she has been asked about her wishes, and no virgin shall be married until her permission has been asked.”
Some people asked, “O messenger of Allah, how is her permission given?”
He (peace be upon him) replied, “By her silence, or in words.”
☛ Period of Engagement:
In most cultures being married and being engaged are two different things. In this same way, both of these terms mean different things in Islamic Law.
Marriage is a complete relationship based on a solemn pledge that involves particular needs, rights and consequences.
Engagement on the other hand is simply a way of stopping other people from proposing to the woman and for keeping her for his sake only, unless the engagement is broken. Other than this the man has no right over the woman.
Women are regarded as being foreign to their fiancées until the actual wedding takes place. They can only be considered as wives if and when a sound and legal marriage is carried out. The main element of a marriage contract is that of offer and acceptance.
As long as the marriage has not been completed in the proper manner according to Islamic Law, the fiancée will still be regarded as foreign; this means that the man is not allowed to be alone with the woman, nor are they allowed to travel together unless they are accompanied bye the woman brother or father.
During the period of engagement both the man and woman should try to understand each others characteristics by talking about important things and reaching a decision on them in the early stages of the marriage process.
☛ Recipe for Happiness : (Marriage in Islam)
The first five years or so of a marriage are usually the most testing. It is during these first few years that couples will get to know one another traits and habits better.
Some ideas that may help maintain a happy marriage are listed below:
• Be understanding of your partners needs, be they spiritual, emotional, physical or intellectual as best as possible.
• Be open and honest about your feelings, be they positive or negative with one another. Share any problems or concerns with each other as soon as they surface. At least both sides are aware of the problem if it gets worse.
• Everyone has good and bad qualities. Husband and wife should learn to accept each other for the good, as well as the bad qualities. We should concentrate on the positive values of our partners have. Show and express encouragement, praise, compliments and gratitude regularly. Such behaviour will help the relationship grow stronger and help strengthen such values.
• Having a sense of humor may make the atmosphere more pleasant and can help keep the peace and reduce the amount of arguments that may take place.
• Give each other a bit of space as this will provide a good physical and emotional balance in the marriage.
• Have an agenda and create a routine which will let the couple establish their own way of life.
Most importantly though, Ask Allah (subhana wa taala) for Guidance, Blessings and Help.
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Jazak ALLAH Khair ★