ADVICE FOR MEN – DON’T MAKE HER FEEL WORTHLESS

Daughters/Women are so special that when a male marries a female, he is reminded constantly that who you have married is the special child of someone, dear to someone, so we tell the husband’s that when you look at your wife don’t just at her as your wife, that’s not the only title she has, she had a title before that which was dearer and more valuable, what was it?

She’s the daughter of so-and-so she also has her own family that loves her and respects her, so do not disrespect her, do not abuse her, like they say don’t make her cry.

You know when my wife cries I always tell her I’m supposed to, I’m not supposed to allow you to cry, she says: ”I cry out of joy mashAllah” okay that’s good, that’s a good sign so if you’re crying out of joy and happiness Alhamdulillah but if you’re crying out of you sadness, you know you’re stuck, there is no way forward, Wallahi Allah has heard the cry of a wife/women and a daughter.

If you take a look at Surat Al Mujadilah named after a woman who came through in order to present her case to Muhammad (PBUH) where the husband became disinterested in her, read to this and i shall I will end on this note.

I tell you very interestingly there was a woman known as Khawla Bint Tha’laba (RA) so what happened to her, she was married and Masha Allah you know, a pretty beautiful woman, next thing expecting she has a child and when you have a child what happens?

Subhan Allah people forget that you’ve now born children, you’ve graduated into a new level of motherhood now and so on, you will not be the same girl you used to be 20 years back, things have to change perhaps you may change in so many ways you become wiser and perhaps you may even become a little bit heavier, (may Allah Subhanahu wa ta’ala grant us ease), she complained because her husband started losing interest or showed disinterest, he was not interested and he started saying whenever she was trying to get him, get his attention, he would say you just like my mother man, it’s okay you know you just like a mother, you just like my sister and so on she went to Muhammad (pbuh) crying weeping complaining what do I do?

This man is saying this to me, he refuses to touch me and at the same time he is the one who impregnated me, he gave me the children, he is the one who did this. When I married him I was in tip-top shape and so on. My dear brothers and sisters read carefully i want to tell you that that does not mean that when you have given birth, you should just lose yourself, no, go back, you will be able to retain a lot if you work on it may (Allah Subhanahu WA Ta’ala help us) whether they are sit-ups, leg ups whatever you want to call them they work, trust me they actually work, dedicatedly so don’t use a Hadith in order for you to throw yourself.

You know to the side, no! work on it you will feel good by the will of Allah like I said do it for the right reasons going back to this narration, so as she is complaining do you know what happened! The Prophet (PBUH) obviously it’s a difficult situation, what do you say? you need to convince the man, so verses were revealed: indeed Allah has heard the argument of the woman who has come to you complaining to Allah, Allah has heard it (the cry)  and then he gives the response and it’s a long set of verses where Allah speaks of the punishment of those who say those type of statements and how special and important the woman is, you don’t say these words (Masha Allah). 

May Allah help us to make the correct decisions in life (Ameen)

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